I drank some beer. It lowered my intelligence and it forced my pants off.

can we not start that right now, young lady?

elves in this game are cannibals

I love democracy

Is that a flashlight or are you just happy to see me?

Bedknobs and broomsticks. That's what I was about to say. Don't steal my life.

I love how our zombie game has turned into a how can we make this a pretty place to live game

Is this a bad idea? Probably. Am I going to die? Probably.

And I live to tell the tale

I got swarmed by strippers they just couldn't keep their hands off of me

Caught AGAIN XD

I am riding on a bike with no wheels

he keeps getting stuck in like the piss tank

super sharp eyeliner to cut your enemies

I'm not some guy. I'm just a square.

Dear diary, I went all the way to Riverside today