If you're a hag at 30, when I'm at 35

I hate it, but I do it anyway

she gave me lesbian fingernails which i love

the minute an ASMRtist starts moaning and licking the mic, I gotta get out

So you want me to buy a $20,000 ASMR box?

What if I'm drinking irresponsibly? Milk. You're banned.

I gave myself alcohol poisoning, like, six or seven years ago on it

disappear into the void after 30

My next haircut is going to make me extra sleepy

I played a game with someone for 24 hours straight

I bought this uh jacket that I really liked from J.Crew

And they set aside like $800 for new clothes every month

I saw my cat chase a spider and then eat it and then throw it back up

I used to have fancy mice when I was a kid

Don't scratch your makeup? I did!

smiley face