andrew jones activate you're gonna start in right field

i did not have a brain when i did this roster

Their bullpen's more Cook than mine, which I didn't think was possible

that's chick kp all the way why am i even having that conversation

i accidentally click sold it like an idiot

Stop the presses. Clip everything.

First historical perfect is Pee Wee Reese

Lindor is my DH. That was not on my bingo card, that is for sure.

I am a Gen X. Nice try. I'm not a millennial.

I will lose my ever loving mind if I do it

Spilled my coffee. That's always fun.

I've got nothing. I've got nothing.

not even OTP can screw it up

I usually forget to get my own drops

Simmons in his first game 0-4-5 with two Ks. He sucks. Move on. Just kidding.

I could put my kid through college before this is done