I went to the barber and said, "I want a haircut like Tom Cruise." They gave me a booster seat..

Before was was was, was was is.

[DROPS] Before was was was, was was is.

What's the difference between Black Eyed Peas and chick peas? Black Eyed Peas can sing you a song, but chick peas can only hummus one.

where da slow mo at.

What's the difference between Black Eyed Peas and chick peas? Black Eyed Peas can sing you a song, but chick peas can only hummus one.

Everybody Disco......

Why are they called "hemorrhoids"? They should be called "asteroids".

A man broke into a pharmacy and stole all the Viagra. Police are looking for this hardened criminal.

I'm throwing an edging party, and you can't come! | HAPPY HUMPDAY!

Do you know the difference between me and a park bench? A park bench can support a family of four..

Are you familiar with Camel Sutra? It's for humping.. | HAPPY HUMPDAY!

So apparently RSVP'ing back to a wedding invite 'maybe next time' isn't the correct response.

My wife told me to stop acting like a flamingo, I had to put my foot down.

water hazard to the max

What do you call a fake stone in Ireland? A sham rock!