I am a dickhead, but I'm a funny one

Because that would be zebras

If you were being attacked by a man on the street, would you have to beat them off?

Slow down, Usain Bolt

Ten years experience nearly in IT

I'm a little mushroom boy

Fool me once. Shame on me. No. Fool me once. Shame on you.

how was i meant to have seen that apart from with my eyes

I'd assume the eggs were magnetic or something, but apparently not

Not the game

But you still going to do it

I started this game, I thought I could do this job

Do you know how to handle nuts?

i am not sending you the link to the pigeon baiting game

What was I meant to be doing?

I've smashed up the lifeboat